Outrageous Hair

Bad Hair Rising: A Round-up of the World's Worst and Most Outrageous Haircuts

Few things in life are worse than a recession. One is death. The other is taxes. The third one is a bad haircut. While the first two are inevitable, the third one need not be, unless your hair stylist is evil or is the world's worst - or both. And if you need further convincing that bad things happen to good people just because, then let's take a walk down memory lane for the worst hairstyles of all time and the most outrageous cuts ever tried by men and women.

The Spikes

This takes patience to create but it will be your stylist's ultimate labor of love. You're sure to catch everyone's attention. And on days when you have nothing to do and you just can't ignore the litter on the floor, why, all you have to do is bend and give the floor a quick sweep! 

The Crimper

This look, which is more haystack than hairstyle, is the ultimate proof one should never bring the crimper - or the 80s - back. 

The Beehive

Think gravity pulls down everything on earth? Think again. The beehive is the one thing in the planet that defies gravity, thanks to hairspray. 

The Rattail

Anything named after a rodent can't be good - and the rattail demonstrates this perfectly. Hair is cut short except for the few strands in the back that are left to grow long so they could be braided. To say that the rattail is a hairstyle is a gross injustice. The rattail is a way of life, a state of mind. Worn long enough, the rattail can cause dramatic behavioral changes, among them lack of hygiene; inability to find gainful employment; distrust towards the government; and a sudden liking for all things scraggly and hirsute. Some theorists suggest the length of the rattail is inversely proportional to annual income and IQ level. 

The Moe Howard

The bowl cut is bad enough on its own; the Moe Howard cut is even worse. No human being would wear the Moe Howard voluntarily - unless, of course, you're Moe Howard and you make a living being ridiculed. Oh, and if you don't know what a bowl cut is, simply imagine this: your stylist slaps a bowl onto your head and cuts around it. It's quick, it's simple, and it makes you look like a walking salad bowl. 

The Comb-over

In theory, it makes perfect sense. Take hair from the side with hair and flip it to the side without. Do this with well and no one could ever tell you're balding. But    what makes sense theoretically doesn't always make sense physically - and the Donald is the perfect example of a comb-over gone wrong. 

The Fro

A funky fro is well and good but not when it's huge enough to house a family of five. Moreover, if you need a backhoe to comb through your hair, then it's time for a cut. Forget scissors. For fros that weigh more than a kilo, only a lawnmower can do the job. 

The Mohawk

Voted the worst hairstyle of all time, the mohawk should be the last refuge of any man who has started to go bald at the temples. Like it or not, you lose the right to wear the mohawk the day you earn the right to vote. 

Oh, and if you think you can survive an outrageous hairstyle with your reputation intact, then why not try any of these? 

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